Ben Affleck as Batman: Get Over It, Comic Books Nerds

Libby Crews tweets: “Y’all think George Clooney can give Ben Affleck tips on how to suck at Batman?”
Alex Beck adds “Affleck is the next Batman? I hope the villain in that movie wins.”
Kevin Smith tweets: “Holy shit, BEN AFFLECK IS THE NEW BATMAN! You know what this means? I’ve seen Batman naked!”
Wil Wheaton piles on with: “Really looking forward to seeing Affleck bring the depth and gravitas to Batman that he brought to Daredevil and Gigli.”
Jordan Alexandra adds: “Ben Affleck, don’t check the internet today.”

Yes, it’s on and on and on. The tweeting nerds stepped away from their video games and proceeded to lose their minds.

Well, let me lay it out for you, nerdos. Ben Affleck ain’t going to suck. He’s 6’4″ and buff and at every turn a stronger physical actor than Bales. Besides, he’s rich and grew up in an eastern city, not to much unlike Gotham. Get it? Not too much unlike Bruce Wayne. When I say he’s rich, maybe not Bruce Wayne rich, but wealthy enough to put Bales is his back pocket. And he has an American accent. I think that counts for something.

And that’s the point, nerdies. If you truly love your comic books and their DC Comics origins and want to stay true to the Bob Kane and Bill Finger concepts you’d glom to on the idea that Superman and Batman are two of our most American heroes, one an alien polite hayseed from Kansas and the other a bitter orphan from the big bad city and both of them guard the big town. And the movie coming up is Batman vs. Superman. Did you really want both the Superman character and the Batman character both being portrayed by Brits?

It’s bad enough we gave the franchise away with Christopher Nolan turning it an almost all Brit and Aussie cast (Gary Oldham, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Christian Bales, and even Aaron Eckhart who was born in Cupertino to a computer exec dad got most of his acting chops living in Australia).  It was a Brit fest and I suppose you like it that way but an American actor who has earned his chops, does a lot of his own stunts, is married to a trained martial artist, physical actress is more appropriate to get a chance at this role.

Besides, Ben Affleck is a poker player and a good one. That’s who I want portraying Bruce Wayne, someone who can bluff, someone who can keep a secret and someone who doesn’t get all whiney about having to wear a bat suit all day, as Bales did.  I want someone who’s been successful behind the camera and is not going to blow up at the director because he interrupted his concentration.

And before you say I don’t realize Christian Bales lives in California and has since age 17, it’s not about that.  I’m for equal opportunity and I know Bales is about that too, having had Gloria Steinem as a step-mother.

I’m just saying, nerdies, it doesn’t hurt to give the job to a guy connected to the comic book industry – Kevin Smith, anyone? – someone with the proven physical chops and someone who can write and direct. If he strikes out, turns out to be worse than Keaton or Clooney, I’ll say never hire another American Batman again. But he won’t.