Butt Seriously Folks

The Daily Mail recently reported that women in the UK are injecting fat into their butts to look more like JLo or Kim Khardashian. My first thought upon reading this was “how sad.” In my opinion our bodies are wonderfully perfect things regardless of their appearance (this belief does require that I ignore the nail on my big right toe). So, I feel for people who struggle with body issues.

But then I thought about how little we really know about what’s going on. For example, think about that drug for alcoholism that does squat to curb drinking but turns out to be great at treating depression. Nobody saw that coming. We live in a world of unintended consequences where things aren’t always what they seem. Bad often turns out to be good, and vice versa.

This in turn got me thinking about why people might really be driven to store fat in their butt. Perhaps thinking inside the butt is actually a form of thinking outside the box, without knowing it. We know that burning oil is bad for the environment, and we know that car companies are struggling to find a replacement for gasoline as the world’s population surges. And we know that fats can be melted down and used as fuels (whale blubber used to be reduced and used in lamps). So what if the car of the future is driven by fat that is sucked out of our bodies and piped into our car’s gas tank? If that’s the future, these butt-fat injections make perfect sense. As long as you kept up with the injections and also ate fast food, you’d never need to hit the gas station. According to the article, operations in the UK to add fat to butts are now outpacing in number those that remove it (ie liposuction).

This also perfectly describes why obesity is rising worldwide. Humans are the only animal that drives and are the only animal packing on the fat. Coincidence?

But best of all? What if Kim Khardashian was driving us toward a solution for global warming that none of the world’s best scientists could ever envision? That would really make my day.

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7 thoughts on “Butt Seriously Folks”

  1. My Spidey senses are tingling. If liposuctions are becoming less common and fat is needed to inject into butts to make them bigger, we’re only going to have an black market for fat because there won’t be enough to go round!

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