Clearing the Air

Are you a fan of Brussel sprouts but find that they are not a fan of you? Does the phrase “cut the cheese” mean something to you besides obtaining a slice of warm brie with raspberry sauce? Do you have digestive woes that make it impossible for you to maintain close relationships?  If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, we have a solution for you.

Fart Filtering Underwear. Yep, you read that correctly.  Our British friends across the pond have invented Shreddies, briefs and panties that have an odor neutralizing carbon cloth embedded in their rear panel. The underwear can squash the stink of 200 times the average flatulence output.

So, what does this mean for those whose love lives were cut short by copious gas? It means you are back in the game.  Now, you can eat the jalapeno black bean enchilada and sip margaritas with your special someone.  You don’t have to crack the window in the car in freezing cold weather in anticipation of noxious emissions, and you don’t have to buy a dog so you have someone else to blame for the foul smell in your house.

I see Shreddies being a billion dollar business in the future especially if the company can come up with Shreddies with Spanx or Shreddies for the mouth for those who are full of hot air.  Each time loudmouths spread rumors or spout vile opinions, the Shreddies would take over and turn their foul words into a bouquet of complimentary platitudes.   I don’t know about you, but Christmas shopping is smelling sweet.