I should tell you about my Uncle Philbert, the eccentric billionaire. He was always afraid we’d be after him for money. He was right. So he cleaned out all his bank accounts, faked his own death and flew to Tahiti under an assumed name. He brought all his money with him in Hefty garbage bags. Unfortunately, he was not allowed to bring them on the plane. The baggage handlers thought it was real garbage and threw it out. So Uncle Philbert went to Tahiti and his money went to the municipal landfill. The last anyone knew, Uncle Philbert had taken up painting, changed his name once more to Maohinui and married four different wealthy Polynesian women on three different islands.