Deadly Assault By a Semi-Sweet Chocolate Mocha

NEWS FLASH!

 Translation

On a right-wing talk show on Thursday, David Keene, the president of the National Rifle Association, blamed President Obama and the left for what he says have been hundreds of death threats made against him and his family.   SOURCE

Not to worry though.   Those ideologues on the left making the death threats surely don’t own assault weapons.  That would be an oxymoron.  Unlike the ideologues on the right who routinely send death threats to the president.

Therefore in all likelihood Keene’s assailants will probably utilize their tea spoons to cull his eyeballs out.  Or, they could walk up to him with a hot cup of latte and toss it on him, giving him 3rd degree burns and a scent of expresso for weeks afterwards.  He ought to be careful too as he pulls out of his driveway.  They may be lying in wait to T-bone him once he backs into the street.

On the other hand if they have developed some mental disorders recently they might have purchased, at a gun show of course, one of them AR-15s in the mad rush with the gun nuts to get them before Obama bans them.  Then there is little guarantee he’ll be able to outmaneuver them.  He had better hope their gun supplier was out of extended magazines with a 30-round capacity.  Kind of hard to evade that many bullets at one time.

Guns-and-Ammo

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4 thoughts on “Deadly Assault By a Semi-Sweet Chocolate Mocha”

  1. You know, they could get him by slipping him a brownie doobie when he goes to Colorado or Washington. It might not cause his demise but it would make him look sillier than he already appears.

    1. Or what about suffocating him with their cultural collector pillow with fancy embroidery they purchased while on their trip to St.Thomas Island?

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