Despite 1265 Likes and 682 Supportive Comments on Facebook, Possibly Hot Former Classmate Still Seems Distant

Middle-aged man Brad Taylor has been a user of Facebook since 2007, but he’s recently become disillusioned by the social network. He had long hoped that he could use Facebook to reconnect with attractive females who he remembered possibly being in one of his classes in school.


“Back in high school, I was kind of a loner. I didn’t go out much and I didn’t talk to anyone. I was what you might call socially awkward and I wasn’t really able to understand or deal with social cues. But now that I am older, I’ve kind of broken out of my shell and I’m really outgoing. Now I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Shutterfly… I also call in and vote on “American Idol” and “Dancing With the Stars” a ton. And you’d have a hard time finding an online CNN article that I haven’t commented on.”

Taylor has recently been involved in a long distance relationship over Facebook with a girl from his high school. He admits that while he has not communicated with his girlfriend in person or via phone, email, or Facebook private message, they are indeed “pretty serious”, as he has liked 936 of his beloved’s posts and 329 of her comments, in addition to making 682 comments supportive of opinions she has expressed on the site. She has responded in kind, liking a few of his comments and playfully asking, “Do I know you?”

“She’s so funny like that! That’s what I like about her. She has a great sense of humor. And she’s totally hot. Or at least she was 30 years ago, and even though she has never posted any pictures of herself except that one of a closeup of her eyeball, she must still be pretty sexy.”

But recently he’s started to feel that maybe something may not be right in the relationship. While his girlfriend used to post at least 6 items per day, he hasn’t seen her post anything for weeks. And what’s even more strange is that mutual friends will mention her name in comments as if they are talking to her. They also reference “that crazy stalker” a lot, which is also strange because “I never heard her mention anything to me about having a stalker.”

Taylor still has hopes for the relationship and doesn’t want to give up on what he calls “something really special”, but says that if he doesn’t see any sign of her for at least 6 months, he may have to think about moving on.

“There are plenty of other girls out there that I might vaguely recognize at some point.”

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3 thoughts on “Despite 1265 Likes and 682 Supportive Comments on Facebook, Possibly Hot Former Classmate Still Seems Distant”

  1. OMG! I think I’ve “met” one or two of these men on Facebook who write to say how fun it would be to meet! I love this guy’s computer. What can I say, I think he’s a hottie!

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