Eagles Turn Gators into Boots


Sometimes, cupcakes will choke you.  Florida’s late season little cupcake, Georgia Southern, proved to be more than the Gators could swallow.

Georgia Southern accepted $ 550,000 to test their team against the Florida Gators in the “Swamp.” Why not? They only had minimal expenses considering a three-and-a-half hour bus trip with a fan base willing to whoop it up in a stadium three times their normal game size.

And, oh yeah, they won.  Without completing a pass!  By running for more yards than any team Florida has played this year. By taping the Gator’s mouth tight and chopping off its tail…  by spiking the Gatorade with Valium.  Okay, on that last one, we lied. The Gators just played like they were on Valium.  On the other hand, their fans, when they got home, emptied the medicine cabinet.

Here’s a tweet from a Florida State fan “I hear ya, I’m praying to the football gods my QB is not a rapist, but this is worse than Zook.”

Another tweet: “Kleenex just shot up two points in the stock market.”

Another tweet: “I betting both Florida and Georgia Southern fans crapped their pants.”

Florida fans will point to all the injuries they had this year, mucho, mucho injuries. Uh, just one thing, Florida had 85 scholarships. Little FCS Southern Conference school Georgia Southern had only 65 scholarships and of those, 19 players were out with injuries.  Florida still had twice as many scholarship players on the field as the Eagles.

Georgia Southern, in Statesboro, Georgia has been a FCS powerhouse. Next year, they’re moving to the Sunbelt conference in Division One with the big schools.  This win doesn’t hurt their cause. Even the fact they never were victorious in twenty previous games against Division One schools still doesn’t hurt their cause. How much does it not hurt? Enough so that many former Gator fans are now suggesting the Eagles and Gators switch conferences.
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Do you want to know more about Georgia Southern? Are they your new favorite small school team? How can you not like a team that has just been playing football since 1982 and during that time won six  FCS national championships? Or has a real eagle fly from the press box to the field at the start of every game? Or go to each away game in yellow high school buses because, when they restarted their program, that was all they could afford? Or the fact they have plain blue and white uniforms with no names on the front or back? Or had a player named Adrian Peterson, who went on to play in the NFL… for the Chicago Bears?  Or were the only team ever in college football to have a 15-0 season? Whatever the reason, you should adopt the Eagles.

Plus, you should visit their beautiful campus in Statesboro. Drive on their inbound road shaped like a heart, visit their student union and recreation center, as beautiful as you’ll find on any campus.  Then, attend a game, where you get to yell “Go! Blue! One more time!”  A cheer based on a phrase by former legendary coach, Erk Russell, who lead the Eagles to three national championships.  Also, you might inquire among the alumni how many wiped out their bookies by loading up on the Eagles when they heard the Gators were favored by 27 points.  Maybe, they’ll wink and buy you a beer.

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