Empowered by NBA player Jason Collins’ courageous announcement that he is a gay man, 3 more NBA players came forward, this time to announce that they are white. Retired NBA great Larry Bird as well as current players Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks and Chris Andersen of the Miami Heat all came forward and announced their whiteness.
Bird suggested that he thought many of his teammates had long suspected he was white, but he did not want to make any announcement while he was playing because he felt it might reflect poorly on his team, the Boston Celtics. He says that the hardest part was hiding his Air Supply tapes when traveling on the team bus back in the 1980’s.
Dirk Nowitzki explained that since he’s German, he felt that it was probably obvious, but when a teammate recently called him a “brother”, he thought there may have been a misunderstanding. Things were cleared up pretty quickly in the team locker room, though he was unable to explain his love for David Hasselhoff.
Chris “Birdman” Andersen may have had the most difficult struggle. “Everyone knows that it’s not popular to be white in the NBA. But I swear this wasn’t a choice and I was actually just born this way. I’ve tried to hide my whiteness by covering every inch of my skin with tattoos. I still had some areas to go, but my hair was still kind of a huge giveaway. Though I give my teammates credit. They’ve all come to me and told me that it’s OK to be a white basketball player and that they accept me as who I am.”
Many have suspected other players of being white. One such player is former NBA great Bill Walton, but he refused comment.
Another secret unearthed!
Great reporting on this trend towards full disclosure!
This reads like something from the Onion. Hilarious!
Inspirational