Going Viral | HumorOutcasts

Going Viral

July 23, 2013
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I recently talked to a blogger who gets thousands of hits a day. Desperate to learn his secrets, I imagined cuffing and coercing him into an isolated room with two chairs, a metal table, and lighting designed specifically to intimidate. I saw myself tossing back a shot of whiskey, lighting a cigar, and launching a steely, relentless interrogation, just like it might unfold on the big screen. In my imagination, the blogger enlightened me. And I, in my triumph, was momentarily distracted from my perimenopausal symptoms.

This did not happen. Instead, the blogger told me that it helps to be “topical.”

Hmmm. Topical.

Unsure what that means, exactly, I looked it up in the dictionary. “Having to do with topics of the day,” it said. Then it all made sense.

So. Here’s what’s trending with me today:

 

 The exquisite adorableness of my cat.


 My blue butterfly shoes. Half a size too small (don’t ask) but beloved nonetheless. Love ’em or hate ’em; either way, they refuse to be ignored.

  Well worth a second shot. Click for full effect. Please.


 Running low on Zoloft.


 My computer mouse. Second only to the butterfly shoes.


 How I’ll spend my evening.


 Laundry pile, also reflected in mirror, seeming to double my workload.

There you have it, folks. A pictorial account of what’s hot in my world today.

Tssss.

If you get quiet and listen, you can almost hear the sizzle.

This will go viral for sure.

June O'Hara

Writer, therapist, humorist. My loves are complaining about my hair, talking to my cat and making fun of golf carts; I'm concerned that my clients sense this about me.My stories have been published in "The Battered Suitcase," "Mused Magazine," "Tryst," "Ducts," and "The Connotation Press," which named me one of their top contributors of 2011. I am a frequent contributor to BuzzFeed, and my humor blog, "The Neurosis Files," is at www.juneohara.com.

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10 Responses to Going Viral

  1. July 23, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    Bill, i get the Jimi Henrix connection. I do. Still, I see it more like a Picasso. 🙂

    Mario, a sailboat I can live with. But a very, very cute one.

    Cathy, you made my day!

  2. July 23, 2013 at 6:37 pm

    I stared at your mouse for a few a minutes and saw a sailboat. Cool.

  3. July 23, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    How can I subscribe to your website?

    Cathy Cantu

  4. July 23, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    June, I commented on FB, but this was really good. I like your humor. Very creative. Oh I get it! I supposed to write about what’s trending with people who are cool.

    Cathy Cantu

  5. Bill Y Ledden
    July 23, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    That mouse is giving me flashbacks to a time when Jimi Hendrix done his thing.

  6. July 23, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    Kathy, you are such a pleasure. And I’m not saying that because you complimented my cat. 🙂

    Times Square, underwear, hula, Italian national anthem in Armenian. . .you are truly funny.

    Thanks so much for your comment.

  7. Kathy Minicozzi
    July 23, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    The internet is like high school. There are people who are “in,” who get loads of attention and thousands of hits, there are a whole bunch of people who are there and get attention some of the time, and there are the rest of us. We are the people who wouldn’t get attention if we stood in Times Square in our underwear, dancing a hula and singing the Italian National Anthem in Armenian. I don’t think you are one of us, but if you are, know that you are not alone.

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      July 23, 2013 at 2:48 pm

      By the way, your kitty is adorable, and so is your computer mouse. My laundry, too, has grown exponentially.

  8. July 23, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Oh, Thomas. It’s getting worse every day. . .

  9. July 23, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    We’ve connected on the laundry thing for sure!



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