What’s your biggest nightmare? No, it’s not coming out of your anger management class to find that someone’s stolen your car. That’s not even close. Nightmare numero uno is being on trial for murder and having your attorney deliver a knock-knock joke during opening statements.
This happened to George Zimmerman during the start of his trial. His lawyer, who bears a spooky resemblance to the teacher who turns to cooking meth on Breaking Bad, opened with this:
“George Zimmerman, who?”
“Alright good. You’re on the jury.”
The jury just stared back in silence. They were either stunned at the use of a joke in a courtroom, or baffled by the fact that the joke wasn’t funny. Who knows?
I could see something like this happening to me. I’d be sitting on a pew while a badly dressed lawyer with a toupee walks up to the jury. He’d flash a four-toothed smile at the jurors and then say:
“Thomas fucked. He’s got me for an attorney.”
At least the joke would meet the requirement of being funny. I’d flash a thumbs-up for that. And then I’d start pleading with the judge.