Hey! Let’s Play The Lottery!!!


I know that this makes us just sound grumpy and whiny.  However, sometimes I just LIKE to be grumpy and whiny.

I’m thirsty, I want to get home, I just need a quick drink.  So I pull into a “convenience” store where a HEALTHY dinner of beef jerky, Vienna finger cookies and PowerAde is more expensive than it SHOULD be but I am supposed to be able to CONVENIENTLY walk in, purchase what I want and leave.

But wait!!!!  Someone wants to play the lottery.  And not just a quick-pick.

It seems that they have had some dreams that equate to some numbers and then they saw a number on a billboard on the way there that made them think of their high school graduation date, but they’re not sure that number is dead on, so they box it and then ask for the number plus one and the number minus 1.

But wait!!!  “What are those little cool valentine thingies?  Oh, those scratch offs?  They’re cute!  How much are they?  Give me 5, oh wait, I want to play 1 more number so only give me 4 valentine thingies.  Are the Valentine lottery scratch off thingies half off like the valentine candy?  Oh, shoot!  I never played these before…. how many do I scratch off.. how do I win?”

But wait on MORE time!!!!! There’s only one person working at the counter!!!  So the rest of us who want a newspaper or a 99-cent Arizona Tea and have the correct change must wait while this person goes through their lottery superstitions.

By the way, I get the whole lottery thing.  Like a lot of people… I’m on the “401K-Powerball“ retirement plan.. which means you don’t believe a $30 million dollar jackpot is worth a buck but, once it gets over $100 million, you’re looking for lottery-pool partners at work!!!

Not sure who to blame here… the person that thinks they own the counter-time as if they are picking out perfume at Macy’s for a new girlfriend whom they know NOTHING about OR the Management of the NOT-SO-CONVENIENT-CONVENIENCE-STORE who puts only one person on duty during rush hour!!!

Either way, Mr. Lottery Guy, the fact that you saw a camel in last night’s dream does NOT mean that 4-5-8 is going to hit on the lottery tonight OR any other combination of those three integers.

And Counter-Guy, (who’s face we shadowed in the above pic), when there are eight people who want one item or want to pay for gas, and you KNOW Mr. Lottery-Numbers-Picking-Guy (who is used to putting on his underwear correctly ONLY by knowing that the yellow stains go in the front and the brown stains go in the back) wants to spend time picking numbers, MOVE THE OTHER PEOPLE THROUGH THE LINE FIRST!!!  I would like my stop at the CONVENIENCE STORE to be CONVENIENT, Ya Jagoffs!

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