History Made Better With Texting | HumorOutcasts

History Made Better With Texting

June 17, 2013

There is a commercial (Geico Insurance) that shows a very happy Paul Revere playing charades with friends. The reason why Revere is so happy?  He has a cell phone which means he can call to warn Boston the British are coming instead of making that arduous and dangerous ride on horseback.

Imagine if this was true and Revere and other historical figures had cell phone technology?  Imagine if we had the ability to text throughout history?   Here are some of my top contenders for “History Made Better with Texting.”


Eve to Adam: I found this great tree. The fruit looks yummy!


Eve: Don’t Yell at me! I get it! No apple! BTW, I’m tired of you. I want a divorce. 🙁

Jesus: Mom, I’m got lost in the temple, but doing a freebie talk to these rabbis.  Can you and Dad pick me up. I’m hungry.  What’s for dinner?

Brutus to Caesar: Some of the guys are really concerned about  you and are planning an intervention.  I am going to pretend to be in on it, but I’m really with you.  Oh, by the way,  Beware the Ides of March.

Christopher Columbus to Queen Isabella :  I got good news and bad news. Good news is we found new lands; the bad news is we got lost  and I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be.  Have lots of souvenirs though.  Oh, the Vikings might have been here  already. Destroying all evidence.

Castle owner during the Dark Ages:  Party is cancelled. Don’t come over. We have a nasty flu that seems to be really contagious. Worry wart Doctor said it could be a plague.  ROFL.

Michelangelo to  his wife: I’m not kidding. The pope  made me paint the ceiling. It took forever. I am NOT cheating!!  Go take a look!

Leader of The Donner  Party  to friends  in California:  Hey, did you guys hear about a blizzard coming  our way?  Not sure if we should bring extra provisions.  When my family gets  hungry, they can eat a horse… or people  LOL

Custer to President Grant: Sitting Bull is here. He doesn’t look so tough. No Big Deal. TTYL ! 🙂

Titanic:  Hey, Carpathia, is that you? It’s Titanic. Looks like clear sailing… uh oh… Do you have  extra room? See you SOON!





Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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4 Responses to History Made Better With Texting

  1. June 17, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    HA! This cracked me up!

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    June 17, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    If texting was around when Blackbeard’s treasure was been hunted, it could have been found so much quicker- directions by sms would really have worked for those dudes!

  3. June 17, 2013 at 10:41 am

    Too funny. Imagine Custer texting while horsing, dangerous stuff.

  4. Kathy Minicozzi
    June 17, 2013 at 10:01 am

    LOL! Clever and funny!

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