Horror In Coven County | HumorOutcasts

Horror In Coven County

October 14, 2013
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Put this thing in a body bag and get it back to the lab!

 

Red and blue lights of the Coven County police cars flashed on the yellow rain slickers as the officers circled what they thought was a dead animal. It had teeth and claws but no identifiable fingers or mouth. They seem to protrude from deformed lumps of flesh. One officer was so overcome by the sight he had to be escorted to the side of the road. Never in the history of Coven County has such an oddity been seen before. They covered it with a blue tarp to stop onlookers from gawking and crowding the crime scene. But was it a crime scene? There was no evidence that a crime had been committed, just this horrific mutilated creature that now lay dead in the middle of the road.

“Whatever this thing is I’d hate to see its mama!” Jimmy Kyle Bodine had been the town’s sheriff for twenty years. “Never in my life have I seen such a disturbing looking creature. How the hell did it get here?”

That was the questions everyone was asking. The coroner’s office arrived. A tall brunette stepped out of the vehicle.

“Put this thing in a body bag and get it back to the lab. I don’t want anyone performing this autopsy except me, is that understood!” Doctor Purka Mills was the Coven County coroner.

“Okay Jimmy, what the heck is going on here? Is this a crime scene or a practical joke? You know I was just about to board a plane to sunny Rio Dejenaro when I was called in! Why does this stuff always happen right before my vacation?”

“Hey it’s nice to see you too Purka. I don’t know what to tell you doc. Some kids on ATVs came across it while they were egging Bill’s cattle. Could it possibly a mischief night prank?” “Anyway, they found this and it scared the dog shit out of them so they called us. Man, I tell ya’ that’s one phone call I would have liked to have missed. I mean . . . look at this thing!”

Purka adjusted her glasses. “I won’t be able to tell you anything until we get it back to the morgue. Purka got back in her car. “Go home Bodine. I’ll call you when I know something. Remember, it’s Halloween Eve so keep an eye out for malicious car eggers, toilet paper ruffians and marauding candy corn maniacs!”

Bodine frowned. “Sure make fun of me if you want to but I’m sleeping with all of my lights on tonight. If that things mama is nearby I want to see it coming before it gets me!”

Jimmy and his officers had already headed back to the station. Purka stayed behind to take a few more notes about the crime scene. She was heading toward her car when she heard something moving in the brushes beside the road. It could be kids or perhaps a deer? The key was barely in the ignition when she heard a whoosh and a loud screech. Okay, that’s no deer! What the heck is that? She kept the motor running and took her flashlight out of the glove compartment. The first thing she noticed was a stench like nothing she’d ever smelled before. “Oh geez, whoever or whatever that stench is coming from stinks like it’s getting paid big bucks to stink!” She held her hand over her nose and continued walking toward the sound. As she got closer she saw something race by about three feet in front of her. It ran close to the ground like a large rat but slithered like a snake. I’d better get back to the car; this is way out of my league! Purka quickened her pace then started to run. Whatever it was, was stalking her. She jumped into the car and slammed the door. It leaped onto the roof. The sound of clawed hoofs made an ungodly scrapping noise. She floored the accelerator and sped off. Something large flew off the roof and ran back into the brush.

Still shaking Purka pulled into her parking space at the morgue. The lights from her office were on. She assumed her staff was preparing the room for the autopsy. She ran to the building directly into the elevator. Out of breath Purka collapsed onto the elevator floor. The light for the 7th floor was already lit. This is freaking weird! I hadn’t pushed any buttons yet. The elevator ascended and finally reaching the 7th floor. The doors opened, but the lights were no longer on. She turned on her flashlight and walked into the morgue hollering, “Harry, Ray, Ellie . . . hey you guys what’s happening with the elevator? The floor button was already pushed and I didn’t . . . OH MY GOD!” Her entire staff was engulfed in what looked like pulsating guts! She turned to run but something dark blocked the door. It started crawling toward her then stood up on what she thought was its hind legs. Purka was paralyzed from fear; she held her breath preparing for the worst. It was at that moment the creature sprang towards her. Purka let out a blood curdling scream. The creature pounced on her. She fought for her life, but noticed the creature had the same scent as Jimmy’s Old Spice deodorant. Jimmy unzipped the front of his creature costume as her staff untied themselves from their plastic pulsing fake guts. Happy Halloween Doc! Purka threw her flashlight at them. “You scared the shit out of me!” Harry shook his head, “Yeah, payback is a bitch!” Purka had pulled a prank to end all pranks on April Fools when she came stumbling into the morgue with a fake bloody knife lodged in her stomach.

“Okay you got me this time. But what is that thing we brought back in the body bag?” Jimmy said, “Got me, ask your staff.” Harry, Ray and Ellie looks puzzled. We thought Jimmy planted it in the woods. Jimmy shrugged shaking his head no. They walked to the examining room. The body bag and what was in it were gone.

Only a blood-soaked piece of paper was left lying on the table that read, “You ruined my boy’s Halloween!” – Mama.

 

 

Deb Martin-Webster

After a successful career in Art Administration, at Temple University/Tyler School of Art, Deb has taken on a new challenging career as an aspiring writer. Author of short story A Hot Dog Stand in the Himalayas Deb has written her first novel published by HumorOutcasts Press titled, Love, Montana. A quick read crossing the genres of contemporary western romance and travel adventure with lots of witty humor thrown in the mix. Also check out Deb's popular HO series Friday Humor Devotional. It's prayer with an attitude.

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4 Responses to Horror In Coven County

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    October 14, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    I love this!

    Mmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahaha! (That was an evil laugh.)

    • Deb Martin-Webster
      October 14, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      Kathy, this is what my nightmares are made of! Love the evil laugh!! 🙂

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    October 14, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Deborah, I think you just wrote the next Old Spice ad!

    • Deb Martin-Webster
      October 14, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      Yes Bill, because we all know that Old Spice turns guys into an animal, right? 😉



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