If you can’t afford a vacation, send your stressed-out stuffed animal on one.

Let me just start by saying, I love Japan. They consistently make life interesting, with things like girlfriend-hugging coats, which earlier in 2013 occupied more of my thoughts than any robotic outerwear should.

And now they’ve done it again, doing something so ridiculous, that I almost want to shell out the money to try it.

For $55, your stuffed animal can take a trip to Japan. This is supposed to be a substitute trip for those who are homebound, don’t have the money to go to Japan, or are eight-year-old girls.

The video from the travel company breaks it down for you here, with a story of how one depressed stuffed animal got its groove back in Japan.


Clearly, this Teddy bear is depressed because he’s nestled on a shelf next to Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged—the dystopian future is especially scary when it’s more than 1,000 pages.

So he heads to Japan.


What are you doing here? I think the better question is how did the person carrying you around like you’re real get through security.


Maybe Teddy has been kidnapped and sold into some sort of fetish sex ring.

At a sushi restaurant, he’s suddenly suicidal.


So he takes a trip to the spa to rejuvenate his body and soul, something they don’t have at the Build-A-Bear Workshop.


I wonder if his owner gets pissed seeing all of these photos sent back to him, knowing Teddy’s having fun on his dollar while he’s still slaving away at the office.


Teddy, quit doing all of the tourist trap activities!


Day 3: Teddy gets dysentery from the water.


Time to leave, and looks like Teddy hooked up with another stuffed animal half his age that will only end up breaking his heart years later when he reveals he’s gay.


I’m wondering if Teddy was previously depressed because he lived with someone that was sad enough to send a stuffed animal on a trip around the world.


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7 thoughts on “If you can’t afford a vacation, send your stressed-out stuffed animal on one.”

  1. I don’t have a stuffed teddy bear, but I have a stuffed panda and a stuffed grizzly.

    I would be glad to offer them as surrogate travelers, for a small consideration. 😉

  2. Very, very funny, Megan. I actually looked into this myself but when I told the travel agent that my stuffed animal’s name was Ollie, they said he was on the no-fly list and kept my deposit.

  3. This poor bear is the target of some major smuggling operation and it will be caught, tortured and sent to live in Japanese prison for 30 years and he won’t know anyone or speak the language, and Lifetime will make a movie out of it and then possibly after a long extracted courtroom drama that has lived on Cable TV, the Japanese government will be convinced to let him go. Do you think I thought about this too much?

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