The telltale white smoke from the Sistine Chapel has indicated that the Roman Catholic Church has a new pope. The successor to Pope Benedict XVI has been chosen and now it has been announced that Argentina’s Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio will soon be named the new pope.
The attending cardinals have historically been sworn to secrecy, leaving many to only guess how exactly they determine the winner. Stirring speeches, political maneuvering, or biblical trivia contests have all been suggested as possibilities. But careful observers, now armed with a bevy of archived photos from earlier papal selections have been beginning to notice a pattern. New pope Cardinal Bergoglio has now emerged with what looks like a black eye, a cut across his forehead, and possibly a limp on his right side. Previous footage of Pope Benedict XVI’s selection in 2005 showed him with a swollen jaw and a cut on his cheek. And even earlier photos of Pope John Paul II appeared to show stitches about his right eye and a cut on his lower lip. At the conclusion of the two most recent conclaves, there were unconfirmed reports of ambulances coming to and from the back of the Sistine Chapel, and many cardinals were unavailable for comment for quite some time afterward. It was said to be to avoid taking the spotlight from the winning pope.
No one knows what secretive process was used in determining the new pope. The only clue comes from a cardinal who spoke only under conditions of anonymity, “The first rule of Papal Conclave is… Nobody talks about Papal Conclave.”
I thought it was a roll of the dice but I think this way is probably closer to the truth! Funny one!
So the one who gets his ass whipped gets stuck with the job?
Larry, that would explain why the chosen one is always so old!