Jiffy’s Law

Everyone has heard of Murphy’s Law. This rule holds that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It applies to fertility clinic mix-ups and presidencies under guys with the surname Bush and everything else in the world. Well, there’s also a related law that most people are not familiar with. It’s called Jiffy’s Law.

The other day I went in to get a lube and oil change on my car. After dropping off the vehicle, I went out and wandered around the neighborhood. I was puttering through a historic neighborhood, checking out buildings and enjoying myself. But then it happened.

I got The Call.

You know the one — that unwanted correspondence from a mechanic who has a few little surprises to brighten your day. It turned out that I needed to replace something called a clutch slave-and-master cylinder. I also needed to fix something dealing with my radiator. And, to put a little cherry on top, I needed to replace a rear turn-signal light. This made me think that the owner of a car I saw on a weedy lot in Northeast Washington State had the right idea – he’d removed the doors from his vehicle and used it to store firewood.

The total bill? $840.

This is Jiffy’s Law in action. Named in honor of Jiffy Lube, it holds that any time you go in for an oil change you’ll end up spending thirty times what you expected to. Jiffy’s Law also has a sub-element to it – it only kicks in when you don’t have that $840. If you are flush and have money available, your total bill will just be the $24.95 that you were expecting to pay.

There’s a reason the great spiritual leaders like Gandhi and the Dalai Lama don’t own or drive cars. They’re too smart to fall for this crap.

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3 thoughts on “Jiffy’s Law”

  1. Jiffy Lube has a very bad reputation for finding everything they can to jack up the bill! Our mechanic told us they have to average at least $100 per customer.

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