For professional singers:
1. If you want to have a fun weekend, don’t start it off by singing at a 9:45 AM funeral on Saturday morning.
2. If you do sing at a 9:45 AM funeral on Saturday morning, enjoy the extra money you are making. You will soon have to say good-bye to it, anyway.
Weather:
3. The day you decide to really bundle up will be the day your area will experience record high temperatures for the time of year it is.
4. The day you wear your boots and waterproof poncho and carry your biggest, most awkward umbrella will be the day the weatherman was wrong about the rain.
5. Conclusion: If you prepare for bad weather, it probably won’t happen. Therefore, if you want to make sure it will be a beautiful day, dress like an Eskimo and carry an umbrella the size of a large patio table.
Miscellaneous
6. Never take advice from humor writers. You don’t know where our ideas have been.
Never go grocery shopping the day before a big storm is predicted!
The same principle probably also works with snow tires.
Numbers 3 and 4 happen to me all the time. I have a dream where my sister and I have a fight over who’s going to play tennis with Andy Murray. I end up winning, wake up and lo and behold, I’m actually Andy Murray!
Yes, playing tennis with only yourself as an opponent is best, although it takes some maneuvering to accomplish it.
So true. Out here in Seattle the winter sun waits for those without sunglasses and then appears suddenly. Love #6.
Well, our weather forecasters tend to err on the side of caution and give us the worst case scenario, especially when a major storm is expected. We are pleasantly surprised (when it turns out to be better than expected) so often we have almost come to expect it, especially when they tell us a hurricane is coming.
Then we get socked by something like Sandy! Oh well!
I say that about snowblowers. When you have your snowblower ready to go, the blizzard turns into a dusting. If you don’t prepare the snowblower, there will be a storm of the century. That is God’s sick sense of humor.