Simon Cowell, the meanest of the “American Idol” judges, who broke the hearts of thousands of wanna-be singing superstars with his blatant and often rude opinions, is having a baby with his best friend’s wife.
Yes, the man who told this young woman she had bad habits, as he peculiarly stroked his moobs, has a bad habit of diddling his best pal’s gal.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDIj5ZVeOLQ?feature=player_detailpage&w=580&h=360]
It’s only fitting then, given that Simon Cowell got to pass judgment on everyone, that we get to pass judgment on him. What would the three original “American Idol” judges say about Cowell’s performance as a friend and human being?
Let’s go to Randy Jackson.
Randy: Yo, dawg. Your morals are a bit pitchy, even if your sperm count apparently isn’t.
Paula Abdul!
Paula: You’re just a superstar in the superdouche department.
And finally, Simon himself!
Simon: Terrib-ull. Absolutely dreadful. If you walked into the Pearly Gates the way you look today, you’d be rejected immediately. Off you go.
P.S. I think we can all guess who’s going to be doing the breastfeeding in this new family.
As a show business survivor myself (opera singer), I can appreciate Simon Cowell’s direct honesty. I got plenty of that directed at me, too, and, looking back, it was actually good that people told me the things they told me, in a way that would make me at least pay attention. Show business is tough, tough, tough, and it requires a combination of the kind of sensitivity it takes to be creative and a skin as thick as an elephant’s. If an aspiring singer can’t take Simon Cowell’s remarks, he/she won’t survive for five minutes out in the show business world.
That said, what Simon did to his best friend with his best friend’s wife has earned him the title of Douchewad of the Year. For the sake of the baby, I hope he’s a better father than he is a friend.
(I wish we could edit our comments!)
Just adding that I had a reasonable career as an opera singer — better than probably 90 percent of my singer colleagues. One reason for that is that I never let strong criticism discourage me, and I gladly accepted all the encouragement that I got.
I actually always agreed with what Simon said, but I felt like sometimes he did it just for the sake of ratings. But I totally get what you’re saying!
I should have clicked that link. The Saran Wrap nipple shirt for men is just wrong.
Not. Not have clicked.
Thomas, you are a bad influence. I clicked on it, too. No, I shouldn’t have.
Right?! His man boobs were out in full force.