My Big Prediction


I enjoy making predictions. For instance, whenever I attend a wedding I always try to predict what song will be played during the bride and groom’s slow dance. I usually pick either Beast Of Burden or The Thrill Is Gone, but I’m yet to be proven right.

But this time I’ve got a prediction that’s certain to pan out. It involves the Individual Mandate in the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). Recently, something very big happened that is guaranteed to completely change people’s views on Obamacare. And no, I’m not talking about the website having difficulties. This is much, much bigger than that:

“Actress” Suzanne Somers recently penned a short article on Obamacare for the Wall Street Journal. Her experience promoting the Thighmaster™ makes her an undisputed expert on healthcare, so you can imagine the impact of her writing this about the ACA: “It’s a greater Ponzi scheme than that pulled off by Bernie Madoff.”

Bam! That trickle of people heading for the exits is about to become a flood. For a President, losing Suzanne Somers on healthcare is like losing Walter Cronkite on The Vietnam War.

People who choose not to be insured have to pay a small penalty, but there are exceptions. If your income is less than 100% of the federal poverty level, you don’t pay the fine. Same if you don’t file a tax return because your income level is too low. But there’s a third exempted group – members of recognized religious sects who have religious objections to health insurance.

So here’s my prediction — America is about to experience a massive surge in faith-healing adherents. You’ve heard about these people, the ones who pray and wave a cross in front of little Billy’s face while he writhes on the couch with a burst appendix. I here and now officially predict that membership in these groups will swell like an unexercised human thigh.

I know I’m right on this. Because I can’t be wrong all the time.

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2 thoughts on “My Big Prediction”

  1. Will we now have to weld our doors shut to keep out the marauding hordes of Jehovah’s Witnesses?

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