New Discoveries About Human Evolution

Scientific theories arrive, gain acceptance, and eventually get disproved. At one point in time doctors believed that bleeding a patient would help rid them of a disease. But once enough people bled to death, the theory was discarded.

The theory of evolution is no different. Though challenged by religious guys with bad hair and multiple divorces, the idea that modern humans descended from apes is generally accepted.

But this is about to change. Why? Because researchers have discovered that the reproductive organ of a male alligator is constantly erect (though hidden inside the body, because dragging it on the ground is painful – trust me, I know this from experience). This alone proves that humans descended from gators, not apes.

But if you need more proof, consider this: the researchers studied several male alligators and found that their average penis size was 2.75 inches. Sound familiar?

Throw in the similarity between an alligator’s skin and John Boehner’s, and the evidence becomes overwhelming. Charles Darwin had a good run, but every party has to end sometime.