There are two reasons local TV news is better in Ireland than in America: the stories are funnier and the newscasters get to swear on TV. A good friend recently posted a clip about an incident in Dublin that was reported by a TV news station. I’ve transcribed the report for your enjoyment:
“The court heard how Mr. Bernard Kilkenney, an off-duty guarder from CountyMayo, was in Dublin for the All Ireland Final when the alleged incident occurred. Whilst chatting with friends on Talbot Street, he was suddenly struck in the buttocks. Upon turning around he saw the accused, Robert Montigue, of Braunstoker Crescent, whom he said had adopted a martial arts pose. Mr Montigue was heard to say “Whatt’re ya bleedin’ lookin’ at?” But before an answer could be given, the accused kicked the plaintiff in the chin, knocking him backwards into a shopping trolley. Mr Montigue then pushed the trolley in the direction of Eamon Street and upon reaching Connelly Station he removed the cowboy hat the plaintiff was wearing and then urinated in it, before placing it back on his head. The plaintiff said of the experience “It frightened the shite outta me altogether Lord Jesus.” For his part Mr Montigue told the court “Them culties (?) is always here, all over the place, like cattle they are, smell a shite of them.” The case continues.”
Here’s the video clip. Tell me the flawless newscaster isn’t a total professional.