No Kitty Noses in the Banana Bread! | HumorOutcasts

No Kitty Noses in the Banana Bread!

November 30, 2013
By

NOT Cat FoodDear Cat:

1. Cats cannot taste sweetness in food. Your taste buds are not built that way. Mine are.
2. Cats don’t like bananas.
3. Therefore, cats do not like banana bread, which is sweet and made with bananas.
4. You are a cat.
5. I am a human. I am capable of detecting the taste of sugar, and I love banana bread. And I prefer it without the addition of cat snot.

In other words:

JUST BECA– USE THERE IS SOMETHING SITTING ON THE COUNTER ON A PLATE AND I TURN MY BACK FOR TWO SECONDS DOESN’T MEAN IT’S THERE TO BE SMELLED. POKING IT WITH DIRTY PAWS IS ALSO NOT APPRECIATED.

Thank you for your understanding

The Human

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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6 Responses to No Kitty Noses in the Banana Bread!

  1. Forrest Brakeman
    December 2, 2013 at 11:02 am

    Make a spicy version of the banana bread.

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      December 3, 2013 at 12:43 pm

      Or better still, spray it with orange juice. Word has it that cats hate citrus smells, although I have yet to see proof of this.

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    December 1, 2013 at 4:35 am

    I’m sooooooo happy that someone finally has the balls to stand up to the cats. If banana bread was meant for cats, it would say “for cats” on the wrapper. Not even once have I seen a banana bread wrapper that says this. Why can’t they just take the massively obvious hint and realize that it is, what it is. Go Kathy.

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      December 1, 2013 at 2:10 pm

      Do I put my nose in my cat’s food? NO! I already know how it smells and I don’t want to investigate further.

      She doesn’t get to investigate my food, either. One courtesy deserves another.

      Cats have ruled the world too long!

  3. December 1, 2013 at 1:27 am

    Clearly it’s just taking great joy in annoying you …

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      December 1, 2013 at 2:11 pm

      Yeah. That, too. In the mind of a cat, annoying the human is great fun.



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