Perfect Polly the Pretend Parakeet

What do you do when your sweet old mother wants a pet but you don’t think she can handle the responsibility anymore?  You get her a moving stuffed bird called Perfect Polly.  Yep, the battery-operated parakeet looks and sings like a real parakeet, but it doesn’t eat or poop so you don’t have to worry that Dear Old Mom will forget to take care of it and wake up one day to find it dead and stiff at the bottom of its cage.

Perfect Polly is to the pet world what pleather is to the shoes and handbag world. To the untrained eye, the bird looks like the real thing but upon further inspection, you know it’s fake, but fake or not, Perfect Polly has still captured the “hearts” of TV commercial viewers everywhere.  Here‘s the YouTube in case you missed this new sensation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELrZRru0UbQ

When I first saw the commercial for this, I thought I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit, but it’s a legitimate product. And in its defense, Perfect Polly is the cream of the crop when it comes to  fake pets. It puts everything from stuffed animals to pet rocks to shame.

Now, for the stuff that worries me.  The TV commercial shows a “normal” couple sitting on their sofa looking adoringly at the fake bird as it rests on a table next to them.  They are staring at it like parents stare at their firstborn child.  And it’s not just this one couple. Kids and grandparents in the ads bond over their fake feathered friend. They are listening with delight to Polly’s warbling and stroking it as one would stroke a real pet. Some people even get the fake parakeet its own cage.  Well, I guess that is not too weird. If Barbie can have her own house and car, Perfect Polly can have a cage.

On a positive note, Perfect Polly could be a practical practice pet.  Parents could give their child Perfect Polly to see how he or she handles the responsibility of pet ownership. Again though, since no food or cage cleaning is required, there isn’t that much of a challenge here. The only thing the kid has to do is change a few batteries.  However, if this faux parakeet does wind up dead on the floor at the hands of their kid, the parents should take that as a sign that their child might not be good with a living pet or that he or she has the potential to be a homicidal maniac. In fact, that could be a new ad slogan for Perfect Polly:  If your kid kills this bird, you got a long road ahead.  

Personally, I might get Perfect Polly as a present for my dogs.  It could keep them company when I am out of the house. It could sing and chirp and maintain their attention for hours, and Perfect Polly is much more energy efficient than leaving on the TV or radio for them.  And since according to the commercial, I can buy one bird for $10.99 and get a second bird free (just pay the $6.99 shipping and handling fee), I can also give a Perfect Polly to my neighbor with the three cats.  Talk about feline entertainment! And if by chance my neighbor’s  Perfect Polly happens by some strange circumstance to fall out of its cage and into the waiting jaws of any of the kitties, no harm done. There will be no guts to clean up and no required mourning.

The more I see this commercial, the more I like this little fake bird.  It’s fun, cheap and unique. Yep, my Christmas shopping list just got a whole lot easier.