Proof Of God, Vol. III

CisteenChapel

First there was that author with the all-meat diet. He was quite popular until he died of a heart attack. Then we had Jenny McCarthy pimping the idea that various vaccines are linked to autism in children. Her appearance as an expert on Oprah helped drive a retreat in people immunizing their children. And then there was an outbreak of measles in London.

The newest entrant is a pregnant woman in Australia pushing the banana. She eats twenty a day and makes sure to post selfies in a bikini on Instagram (For the record: I stumbled across this on The Daily Mail. I do not cruise Instagram looking for bikini pics of pregnant women. But thank you for thinking I’m some perv. I’m honored.)

Anyway, this diet is supposed to maximize the health of her baby. So you know what’s gonna happen, right? This banana-pregnancy diet is gonna gain traction and then take off. But a few months from now the woman will give birth to a beautiful, 9-pound chimpanzee. And it’ll be game over for that diet.

And then we’ll find out that she was being paid millions by Dole.

This is a long way of providing more proof for the existence of God. He/she/it sits up there and says “Hey, let’s see if people will fall for this.”

Talk about having the best job in the world.

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3 thoughts on “Proof Of God, Vol. III”

  1. Don’t forget Euell Gibbons, the guy who ate pine cones and Adirondack chairs. Turns out after all those years he wasn’t a quack; he was just out of his mind.

  2. As a cynical dog, I don’t know if I believe in a god. My extremely, childlike view of the world asks “if God exists, why do we have Bon Jovi?”

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