Royal Carribean Cruise Catches Fire, Carnival Sues For Trademark Infringement

Royal Caribbean’s Grandeur of the Seas cruise ship caught fire Monday morning, prompting Carnival CEO Gerry Cahill to immediately file an injunction against the cruise line for trademark infringement.


“Cruise ship fires are our thing. Everyone knows that. We’ve well established in the industry as the exclusive on board fire cruise line. And now you’ve got these pretenders starting to move in on our territory, starting late night fires requiring evacuation. Therefore we move to prevent Royal Caribbean from every doing this kind of thing again without at least providing royalties to Carnival Cruise Lines.

The sad thing is that even though they are trying to copy us, they obviously don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Royal Caribbean actually evacuated passengers to land as soon as possible, and their only two incident reports were for high blood pressure and ankle sprain! Not one incidence of raw sewage. Amateurs! And get this, they flew their passengers back home with a refund AND a certificate for another cruise. Plus their CEO actually traveled to the Bahamas to meet with and apologize to the passengers in person… But they always say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Even if it is an obviously terrible imitation. Stick with the real thing, people. Carnival.”

For the record, Royal Caribbean spokeswoman Cynthia Martinez claims that the fire was “just an accident”.

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6 thoughts on “Royal Carribean Cruise Catches Fire, Carnival Sues For Trademark Infringement”

  1. What about food poisoning? Isn’t that another one of the latest crazes in cruising?

  2. Maybe’s Al’s Party Float isn’t looking like such a bad deal after all. At least the rates are cheap and life vest are required while on deck.

  3. Royal Caribbean should jump on the Norovirus trademark before they miss the boat on that as well….

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