The Cardinal Impostor

A man impersonating a cardinal by wearing a frock and tying a purple scarf around his waist almost made it into the conclave to vote on the new pope. Despite the makeshift sash being the wrong color (it should’ve been red), in the end it wasn’t what gave him away. The Cardinals became suspicious when the man remarked that a waitress in a Vatican coffee shop “had a nice rack” yet took no notice of an altar boy’s “divine ass.”