The New Revolutionary Diet

Like many, I made my annual New Year’s resolution to lose weight.  So I was drawn to the full page ad in the New York Times for a new book called Thinner Next Year, which follows up on its physiologically impossible predecessor, Younger Next Year.  The new book promises to deliver “ground-breaking”  “up-to-date nutritional science,” and appears to be an instant bestseller.

A closer look at the description, however, reveals that the revolutionary diet secrets finally now made public are this:  avoid high calorie nutritionally deficient foods and exercise.   Are you kidding me? Anyone who has ever tried to lose weight knows this.  It’s taught in health class at every middle school in the country.  But this book is a bestseller because it uses acronyms like avoid SOFAS = solid fats, added sugars – and the marketing that went into the title.

Here’s my book that will change your life – for FREE!

Thinner Tomorrow : Why Wait for Next Year?

– HEFALOH(ED) = hard exercise for at least one hour (every day)

– avoid ECLAN = eating cookies late at night,

– and IYETDEAL –  if you eat them don’t eat a lot

That’s it!  Short. Ground-breaking.  Up-to-date nutritional science. Easy to remember.  Hard to do … but hey, the book’s free!

 

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4 thoughts on “The New Revolutionary Diet”

  1. This is soooo true!!!! I hate the first of the year with all the “best diets”. And also for the record — CTTVCMPVBWL which stands for Celebrity Testimonials on TV Cause Massive Puking by Viewers which leads to Big Weight Loss without all the diets.

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