The Shit Stained Shorts of Courage:
See that fucking asshole in casual clothing (nice bluejeans, patriot.), the one with the look of a foul-mouthed fuckwad who has to keep his yap shut while being forced to listened to his sworn enemy for two hours – or else he’s shitting his pants again. That’s Ted Nugent (the man who typifies the kind of “straight talk” that Bill O’Reilly thinks the GOP needs to embrace, and who wants to shoot the President), leaning uncomfortably into the aisle at the State of the Union address while everyone else in the pic seems to be having a good time, chatting with friends, etc.- except for the poor lady who has the misfortune of sitting downwind of Mr Shit Pants. The guy doesn’t even own a suit. Sports coat and jeans is the best he can come up with. As I said, he looks like a homeless guy just barely keeping it together.
Whether trolling was to blame for the arrangement to trolling, or simply karmic coincidence, Nuge was seated next to another musician, Pink Martini’s Thomas Lauderdale, described by Gawker as “the anti-Ted Nugent: A liberal, Occupy-Movement-supporting, openly gay civil rights activist who favors gun control and loves classical music.” We are pleased to report that Nugent more or less behaved himself, although twitter reported that the super-patriot did not even “stand and clap for ‘our brave men and women in uniform are coming home.’” But can we really blame him, I’m sure he’d been warned against making any sudden movements.
Highlights of Nugent’s piquant analysis of the SOTU, include faking a yawn, “Does kiss my ass ring any bells?” and “I’m so excited that someone is going to bring about world peace and save the children”,
and the hilarious quip: “Thank God he’s gonna stop global warming, I was starting to get concerned.” Haw-haw!
Nuge also asserted that Rep. Jim Langevin (D-RI), who was paralyzed in a shooting accident, had “Shit for brains” because he was critical of Nugent’s attendance at the address. NBC News’ Luke Russert questioned Nuge about the appropriateness of the comment, aimed at a sitting member of Congress who’s in a wheelchair. Nugent, no stranger to feces, responded that it would take “genuine fecal material instead of brain matter” to suggest that he doesn’t “feel sorry for the victims of violent crime.” This is the same man who requested that many people, mostly ladies, suck on his machine gun. Ted, honey, no one wants to suck on anything you have, literally or metaphorically.
Remember how Nuge was gonna “face down the President”? Kinda hard to do from the very last row. Media stunt fail – the bottle of water was more interesting. Despite predictions that Nugent would be an irresistible attraction to the media, he was not featured in any crowd shots during the speech, and was excluded from immediate post-SOTU coverage.