The Ultimate Proposal

By: Maggie

While perusing the online news, an interesting human interest story caught my attention.  It was about a man who decided to propose to his girlfriend through a crossword puzzle.  It was not any crossword puzzle. It was a crossword puzzle he created himself which contained answers that spelled out “Will you marry me?”

If that was not romantic enough, he took the crossword to the Washington Post and paid them to publish it on a Sunday, the day his girlfriend usually did the crossword.  In the early morning hours, on that Sunday, he scoured the streets to find a store that had the early morning edition, so he could make sure his girlfriend would have the proposal puzzle in her hands.

Apparently, this guy loves his girlfriend a lot, and I am sure their love will last, but I want to check back in with them in about ten years just to see if that kind of romance has continued.  I was touched by this guy’s level of sentiment. One does not usually find that in men. Okay, come on all those with the Y-Chromosome, let’s hear the boos. Bring them on!  But let me ask a question, who of you is truly capable of romance at this level?  As you were reading the story about this crossword puzzle, how many of you were saying any of the following:

This guy paid to put the crossword puzzle in The Washington Post. That had to set him back a pretty penny.


Damn, the Washington Post, did he have to buy a ring too?


Good for him, but I hope he is not springing for a big wedding.


I bet he got laid – a lot for that.

Any of these thoughts sound familiar?  Relax, Gentlemen, this guy is an aberration.  I have heard of these men from afar, but to be honest, I have never met one up close.  They are more often than not, figments of a romance writer’s imagination. Then again, my standards are low.  If my husband puts in a load of laundry or takes out the trash without a prompt from me, I think that I am the luckiest woman in the world.  It’s my own fault, if I raised the bar, I could have some chick-flick romance fly through my door too.

Now, before the entire male sex votes to have me stoned for poking fun at your missing romance gene, let me deliver some good news. This guy, the “Crossword Lover”, well…he is toast.  Let me explain why.  He has made it impossible to outdo that proposal. Nowhere in time, will he ever be able to live up to that proposal again.  Sure, his wife will always have bragging rights to the crossword puzzle, she might even have it framed,  but after a few years, she will want another gesture of his love. Let’s face it, he can only go downhill in the romance department after the crossword surprise.  Yes, their marriage has yet to start, and the husband-to-be has already peaked.

I know his soon-to-be-wife is saying, “No, I will always remember my proposal, and no matter what happens in life, I will keep it close to my heart – always!”

But 20 years from now when he brings her a bunch of flowers from 7-Eleven for their anniversary, she is going to say,

“I was thinking about the crossword puzzle you did for me?  Can’t you do something like that again?”

And he is going to look at her and say,

“Are  you freaking kidding me?  We have college tuitions to pay and a mortgage and car insurance and you want me to spend the money on a crossword puzzle for the Washington Post? For God’s sake, we need a new car this year.”

Now, Gentlemen, this is where the unromantic guy wins out. Not having ever created a crossword puzzle or a love poem or any kind of written message that is not pre-printed on a Hallmark card, your wife or girlfriend will not expect anything over the top — ever. You can bring home those wilted roses from the 7-Eleven and she will be thrilled, and you might even get sex for them.

So, cheer up, Men!  The “Crossword Lover” may have gained media attention and become the darling of talk shows, but his fifteen minutes of fame will end, You, on the other hand,  will have a lifetime to convince your girlfriend, wife or significant other that she made the right choice when she agreed to put down roots with you.  Ain’t love grand?


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3 thoughts on “The Ultimate Proposal”

  1. Great article, Donna. You reminded me that I have a load of laundry in the wash. You think I should ask my husband to put it in the dryer for me? I’d be pretty damn excited if he actually did.

  2. You’re right about setting the bar too high; I think most women need a few years of marriage to get their bar heights adjusted to something near realistic! I HAVE created a few crossword puzzles in my time; the hardest thing is to make it consistently hard (or easy). Just the choice of cluse makes a BIG difference!

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