I’m curious what it’s like to get enough sleep. Not curious enough to go to bed earlier, but if someone did a study, I’d read about it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2013
Sorry I didn’t pay attention during your long, meandering story. I was too busy thinking of all the places I could hide your body.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2013
There’s a whole generation out there that inserts odd pauses where “fuck” should be b/c they learned to swear from songs edited for radio.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2013
The DMV said I had to keep my eyes wide open for my driver’s license photo. I look like I’m in the middle of surprise butt sex.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2013
Don’t brag to me about how lazy you are. I didn’t feel like filling a pitcher with water, so I ate dry Kool-Aid mix with a spoon.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2013