3-year-old: “What’s the opposite of a horse?”
Me: “I have no idea.”
3: “A taco!”
Kids are basically random word generators.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 8, 2013
When Jennifer Aniston cuts her hair, it makes headlines on CNN. When I cut my hair, my wife tells me to stop trimming my balls over the sink
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 8, 2013
I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now bicker with each other until one of you dies.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 8, 2013
I was excited to show my kids a guy popping a wheelie on his motorcycle. It’s not often they get to see natural selection in action.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 8, 2013
I saw a guy bring a guitar to a party. It was kind of cool to behold. I thought that level of douchebaggery was just an urban legend.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 8, 2013