I assume “do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” means having sex while Mike Rowe narrates it. I’ll pass.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2013
I take that “love your enemy” section of the Bible way too seriously. I married her.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2013
My wife: “If you’re listening to me, then what did I just say?” Me: “Something stupid & pointless.” I was right, but it didn’t help me any.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2013
My wife said I clean up well. I’m still ugly, but the kitchen is spotless.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2013
My wife hates me, but she’s not in hate with me. We should be able to make it at least another 50 years.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2013
At least you and your wife have a committed relationship. It might be steeped in hatred but whatever works!