I’m sure you just said something very important, but I didn’t hear any of it because I was worried my sideburns might be uneven. Good talk.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2013
It wasn’t witty banter. That implies I was witty and you were witty back. It was more of a monologue. I was witty and you were in the room.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2013
I don’t worry about the dangers of loaning money to friends since I don’t have any money. Or any friends. Maybe there’s a connection.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2013
I’ll never walk a mile in your shoes, but I won’t hike that far in my own shoes, either. I own a car for a reason.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2013
Plastic surgery is great for people who want to show they have enough money to pay someone to make them look worse.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2013