The main reason I believe in hell is I really, really want the guy who invented unskippable previews on DVDs to go there.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 20, 2013
I told my friend I’d come over and help him with his abandonment issues, but I didn’t show up.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 20, 2013
If I see a handsome mustache, I’m going to compliment it. I don’t care if that hurts her feelings.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 20, 2013
Today I solved a math problem by counting on my fingers in case you wondered how that English degree is working out for me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 20, 2013
When opportunity closes a door, it opens a window, probably so you can jump out of it and kill yourself.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 20, 2013
I best remember to shave if we have to meet in person! So funny!
I recommend leaving the facial hair. Beard compliments are the only compliments I give.