My 1-year-old learned to say “hi.” She immediately used it to get me into 200 unwanted conversations with strangers.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 23, 2013
The only time it’s OK to take a picture of your reflection in a mirror is when you get bit by a bat & need to know if you’re now a vampire.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 23, 2013
Now that I’m an adult, I’m the one who decides how I live my life. Just kidding. I’m married.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 23, 2013
Is Goth still a thing? Before I get too close, I need to know if these kids dressed in all black are social misfits or ninjas.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 23, 2013
Saying “I wear the pants in this relationship” doesn’t show me you’re in control. When you’re truly in charge, you don’t wear pants at all.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 23, 2013