“Hey guys, I thought of a pointless change that will totally fuck everything up. Let’s do it.”—every manager ever
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 13, 2013
*uses correct grammar*
*gets bitches*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 13, 2013
My 3-year-old told me, “Your face is too big for the mirror.” My innocent little girl called me a fathead.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 13, 2013
If you support tolerance, then you should support drug use. It’s hard to tolerate most people without caffeine and alcohol.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 13, 2013
My kitchen is full of flies. Either someone left a window open or God finally remembered he owed me a plague.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 13, 2013
That manager one really rings true and I hope God just wants to give you the fly plague!
I didn’t mind the plague of flies since after that we got a plague of frogs to cancel it out.