My wife doesn’t play many video games, but she loves to fill the dishwasher perfectly so there are no gaps left. It’s her version of Tetris
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2013
It’s unfair that actors use stuntmen to face danger for them but I can’t hire a guy to take my place & listen to my wife talk about her day
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2013
I don’t dwell on my past mistakes. I have a wife who dwells on them for me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2013
Wrong – adjective; anything a man says or does
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2013
I showed I was an alpha male today by haggling at a garage sale over the price of a Barbie playhouse. I saved $2. Somebody get me a beer.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2013
Inspired set for 7/28! Loved the stuntman and mistake lines! Also, my wife told me to tell you that she read this post as well and didn’t get it.
Thanks, John. My specialty is being misunderstood by wives, especially my own.