When my 1-year-old shrieks, it’s hard to know if she means, “I’m happy,” “I’m mad,” or “I’m a pterodactyl and you’re too close to my eggs.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2013
Me: “I don’t think you take my authority seriously.”
My 3-year-old: “I’m a kitty cat.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2013
Recent questions from my 3-year-old: “Why is that a clock? Why are clocks circles? Why do clocks tell time? Why do I make you drink?”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2013
I remember watching the guy fry an egg in those “this is your brain on drugs” commercials, but all I could think was “drugs look delicious.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2013
It was rude of the hardware store guy to give me a dirty look just because I asked, “Which pressure washer is the best for hosing off kids?”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2013
Your 3 year old is absolutely correct about cats and authority!
You know, if the powerwasher flips them enough times, it’s like an amusement park ride so it saves you big bucks having to take them to a theme park! Very clever parenting on your part!
And if I position them right, I can clean the side of my house at the same time.