I have nine remotes in my living room. One works, and the other eight are decoys my 1-year-old can chew on without changing the channel.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2013
“Let’s just be friends” is code for “let’s both stay in the same social circle and be super awkward around each other forever.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2013
It’s a beautiful day outside, so obviously I’ll avoid it at all costs. The glare from the sun makes it impossible for me to use my phone.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2013
I don’t want to be your everything. That sounds like a lot of work. I’d rather just be your fuck buddy and occasional partner in crime.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2013
It’s kind of remarkable I’m still alive considering how many times a day I give up on life.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2013