My 3-year-old informed me today that she’s going to be a cowgirl. I’d object, but that’s going to save me a ton of money on college.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2013
My 3-year-old: “I want a green horse.”
Me: “Where will you get one?”
Her: “From a yellow horse and a blue horse.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2013
I always carry a cup of coffee at work. I don’t drink it. I just never know when I’ll need a scalding liquid to throw at someone.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2013
My wife: “Let me give you a hand”
Me: “…job?”
And that’s why I have to empty the dishwasher by myself.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2013
Evidently the purpose of my existence is to prove an awkward moment can last for an entire lifetime.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2013
I hope you can find your 3 yo cowgirl a blue horse and a yellow horse, because she deserves a green horse!
Colored horses are a bit scarce in my part of the country. To make a green horse, I’ll either need some paint or some uranium.