Urinal Video Games Because Men Bore Easily

 

A Minor League team in Pennsylvania has installed hands-free video games above urinals in the men’s restrooms. Yep,  the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, who are a Phillies affiliate, contracted with a British company to install the gaming system at Coca-Cola Park.

When men enter the bathroom, they will see a video game display installed above each urinal and when they step up to do their business, a motion sensor turns on the game. The peeing person operates the game by swaying left and right.

You know this little game gadget was invented by men. Is the task at hand in the men’s room so boring that men need a distraction for the 30 seconds it takes them to empty their bladders?  May I have a show of hands? And I mean hands…how many of you guys are going to stop the game as soon as you are done peeing?  This could be a trouble. Men have always counted on the quick moving men’s room line at public venues and have scoffed at the wait time women must endure to get into the Ladies Room. The urinal gaming system could change all that. If the urinal games take off, it might be the women who get in and out of the bathrooms quickly while men dillydally doing their business hoping they can win enough games to become the highest scorer.

Women will not be jealous of the gaming system. We already have lots to do in the restrooms and adding one more thing will not make our lives more enjoyable. We look for ways to decrease our time in public restrooms—not increase our time.

My least favorite part of this video system is that men control the game by swaying to the left and right. I applaud the no-hand, germ-free concept, and I don’t want to point to any particular penises out there, but very few guys are good at the aiming thing when they are standing still, and now someone wants to add swaying into the mix? I hope the janitorial staff is getting paid extra for cleaning the men’s rooms, and I hope there are tutorials on this before a newbie gamer starts swaying and spraying which you know is going to happen if he is sent in the restroom unprepared.

As one would expect, the hands-free video games in the men’s room have so far received rave reviews from male stadium guests, so I guess my concerns do not matter, and for the stadium execs who worried, it wasn’t money down the drain after all.

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8 thoughts on “Urinal Video Games Because Men Bore Easily”

  1. Donna, I totally agree that video games would not enhance the restroom experience for us women. What we really need is an Automatic Pantyhose Adjuster. Such a device could cut down our time in the ladies’ room by … oh … 25 percent or so. Would anyone like to invent one for us?

  2. I’ve been waiting years for someone to install a Whack-A-Mole game inside urinals. I think I should contact these gamers. As for the swaying, you are totally on the money. Bad idea.

  3. My high school science teachers wanted to create a urinal game for bars years ago. His idea was to require a constant flow of urine to play the game. Wen the bladder was empty, the player would have to “reload” by drinking more beer. Thus the bar management could make money “coming and going”.
    I wonder if these urinal games are spaced a little farther apart, to allow for the swaying. Or maybe thy need to put walls between them.

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