“Uuuuuuuuur Ahhhhrrrrrr Uhrrrr Ahhhhrrrrrr Aaaarhg…”

The suns were shining brightly and Bill Y was as happy as violence in a Tarantino movie. It was kind of like a dream that wasn’t partially real, though it did have an air of inevitability to it. I know that you’re not supposed to meet your heroes because they’ll always let you down but I also know that you’re not supposed to put your finger in an electrical socket but that’s never stopped me before. And so it was, that I won a competition to meet the one person in this world that I could truly relate to. I didn’t stop drinking for 56 days before the day in question and then, just like a body slam from a non-choreographed wrestler, I came down to earth with a bang. I’m not sure if I was drunk or he was drunk but I just couldn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth. He wasn’t making any sense, didn’t smell too good and probably could have done with a shave. He actually growled at everyone around him and I wasn’t even allowed to take a photo of him. He did give me one of those publicity shots of himself but he didn’t even sign it:


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