Well, at least one Princeton guy is not getting laid tonight.

An open letter to the Daily Princetonian student newspaper from Susan A. Patton ’77 has sparked controversy based on the fact that the alumna advises young Princeton women to “Find a Husband” before they graduate.

While there is plenty to debate when it comes to the women’s lib issues this article raises, let’s not gloss over the real victim of this story: Susan A. Patton’s son.

He goes to Princeton. Right. Now. It’s bad enough getting cock-blocked by a friend at a frat party, but by your mom? In a student newspaper article? That goes viral? This guy’s love life is gonna be bleak over the next few years—a series of shut doors without one single doorknob sock in sight.

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