Westboro Baptist Church has welcomed a new neighbor to their street in Topeka, Kansas. A spokesman for the church said that a fruit basket was left on the porch, but they have not yet met the man who recently bought the house.
“Oh, we’re ecstatic that he bought that piece of shit. It was a real eyesore. The last guy who lived there was raising chickens in the backyard, never registered or inspected his vehicles, and changed with the blinds open… not to mention he used to have mineral water shipped in by the case, if you know what I mean…so we’re sure anyone else is a step up. Not sure about that color scheme he’s using on his house, but at least it covered up the “Suck it, Fred” graffiti that used to be on it. We are eager to enlist his help in the war against the Sodomites and hope that our fruit basket will help butter him up.”