Whom’s The Boss?

Hey Gang! Due to my imagined popularity of last week’s post, I want to talk more about leadership.  If I had fans, I am quite sure they would e-mail me questions.  I believe it would  go as follows:

Dear Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer,

Please help me!  I am a new boss to a team of people who I am far superior to. I desperately need to force them to respect me.  What should I do?

Signed,

Didn’t Observe Underlings Cry Heard Everywhere

My reply would be:

Dear DOUCHE,

I am glad you came to me and congrats on a well deserved promotion!  Knowing that your workforce is inferior to you is the first step to being a successful Supervisor.  I have several suggestions that would work great.  I plan on using them if I am ever put in charge of anyone.

Gainer  Governing Rule #1-  Publicly point out your subordinate’s mistakes.  There is nothing like good old-fashion humiliation to make people think, “Wow, what a great boss!”  If you have an email system, be sure to reprimand your employees in writing, while blind cc’ing it to the rest of the group.  It shows your team that you have a sharp eye for detail!

Gainer Governing Rule #2-  Let your team be fully aware of the consequences of their actions.  Continually remind them  that they can be terminated over any infraction, large or small.  Find out the employees who are in a one-income family or who have many dependents.  They seem most motivated by this tactic.  When you see their eyes become dull and dejected, you know your leadership is working.

Finally, Gainer Governing  Rule #3-  Let your staff know that the company’s changing needs are far more important than the employee’s stagnant ones. Using buzz words like “flexibility” and “team player” lets you, the manager, change their job description and functions at any time.  If you have a concerned or complaining employee, please review Gainer Governing Tip # 2.

Thanks so much to everyone who fake e-mailed me!

Until next time, Gang!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

 

cgct

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Whom’s The Boss?”

  1. It’s those “bad” employees that force our “job creators” to move overseas somewhere. People in Bangladesh don’t complain about working for slave drivers who pay sweatshop wages and provide no benefits. If they do the company goons beat them with bamboo poles and drag them out by their heels. See how good we have it?

  2. Too many people in technical businesses are promoted because they are good technically, but may not be good at managing. I spent most of my engineering career outside of management, out of choice, but spent my final years as a middle manager. I tried to always remember what it was like to be “in the trenches”.

  3. I think that was my previous boss who sent you that fake email. With my current boss, I just look in the mirror and say, “Get over it, bitch. I’m wearing my bathrobe to work today and if you don’t like it you can complain to HR. By the way, I’m HR!”

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