Why During Christmas, You Never Forget Your Fire Department | HumorOutcasts

Why During Christmas, You Never Forget Your Fire Department

December 25, 2013
By
Unfortunately, this is the true tale of the fire in my kitchen this past weekend. Please sing to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas.  Don’t worry, I counted only to Five. I don’t want to keep you reading in case you have a pot on the stove that is ready to erupt into flames.
fire department
One the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A microwave that burned to a crisp.

 

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two insurance adjusters to examine the kitchen damage and a microwave that burnt to a crisp.

 

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Three screeching fire engines, two insurance adjusters and a microwave that burnt to a crisp.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four police officers, three screaming fire engines, two insurance adjusters and a microwave that burnt to a crisp.

 

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five verrrrry concerned neighborsfour police officers, three screeching fire engines, two insurance adjusters and a microwave that burnt to a crisp.

 

And this, in case anyone continues to wonder, is why I shouldn’t cook or bake during the holiday season. Honestly, I cook pretty well but something about the holidays.  Nothing good ever results from my culinary experiments. And by the way, thank you to the very nice and capable East Norriton Volunteer Fire Department for all their help and for not laughing at how messy my house was when they came in to save the day.

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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12 Responses to Why During Christmas, You Never Forget Your Fire Department

  1. Deb Martin-Webster
    December 27, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Donna only you could make a holiday house fire funny!! Glad everyone is okay and your Christmas was uneventful!!

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    December 27, 2013 at 5:39 am

    Jill Y said she would love four police officers on the fourth day of Christmas. I told her that Santa Bill Y will sort that for her if she provides me with four girly police officers. It’s amazing how fast her tune changed!

  3. December 26, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Well…. Hope you stayed away from lighting candles for the holiday!!! BTW, don’t put those things near any drapes!

    • December 26, 2013 at 8:17 pm

      Candles were not the problem but garlic and oil definitely were not compatible

  4. December 26, 2013 at 12:39 am

    As a volunteer firefighter, I can tell you that your house probably isn’t nearly as messy as others they’ve seen.

    • December 26, 2013 at 12:51 pm

      That’s what they said Mark, but still it wasn’t ready for company! 🙂

  5. Kathy Minicozzi
    December 26, 2013 at 12:34 am

    I hope you’ll at least get a nice, newly remodeled kitchen out of this.

    • December 26, 2013 at 12:52 pm

      I will settle for a new microwave and some paint. Oh well! I think the elusive reindeer Blazer came to visit!

  6. December 25, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    I hope Santa brought you a new microwave! And, of course, some nice jewelry. 🙂

    • December 26, 2013 at 8:15 pm

      I hope he does soon Mike!

  7. December 25, 2013 at 11:27 am

    I actually sang this, and it works! Hoping the sixth day rocked, and your Christmas is wonderful.

    • December 26, 2013 at 8:18 pm

      Thanks Tom! As I said, a Christmas present from the newest elf “Blaze”-er. HA HA!



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