The other day I was reading American History Magazine (this is what you do when you’re visiting your Mom and you’ve finished the only book you brought on the trip). I landed on a story about a guy investigating the Spanish Flu, which started in 1917 and killed 50 million people.
The researcher went to a tiny town in Alaska, where the flu killed 70 residents. He needed to get tissue samples from someone who died from the flu. So he dug up a few people, only to find that all their body tissue had decayed over time. But then he found the corpse of an obese person who still had tissue.
Information culled from this tissue has helped researchers improve flu vaccines and prevent other large-scale epidemics.
So the next time you’re working through a second gallon of Ben & Jerry’s and people flick you crap, you can say: “I’m improving the knowledge base for future generations, bitches. And your scrawny, bony asses ain’t doing shit!”