Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
SILLIMAN ANSWERS YOUR BURNING MASTERS QUESTIONS
You golf fans have many Master’s questions and we at Silliman on Sports appreciate that you asked in rhyming form. That inspires me. We’ll do our best to answer in rhyme.
Q: Now that Tiger’s found love, will a Master’s victory fit like a glove?
A: You’re speaking of his new squeeze, Lindsey Vonn. Tiger is saying “Let’s get it on!”
Q: In getting Master’s tickets, will it annoy my spouse if I mortgage the house?
A: No, that wouldn’t be wrong, especially if you brought your husband along.
Q: If betting on a winner, will I enjoy going with a Rory named Mcllroy?
A: Well, he was # 1, so it’s not a bad story especially with NIKE betting heavy on young Mr. Rory.
Q: Can Phil win, when the fact is he plays better when not ranting about his taxes?
A: Tax burdened Mickelson has a new driver which Lefty hopes will make him a winner. If so he’ll owe the tax man a nice lobster dinner.
Q: Can Bubba repeat, with a victory quite neat and if so, wouldn’t it be sweet?
A: Sweet indeed, but he hasn’t played well. Only two top 10 finishes, he won’t do so swell.
Q: You haven’t heard his name in while, but what chance has former champ, Sandy Lyle?
A: Very little, indeed. You’d be better off betting on the soldier, Gomer Pyle.
Q: The same with Larry Mize, would betting heavy on him be wise?
A: A definite no, certainly not wise, just like it wouldn’t be nice to say anything bad about new member Condi Rice.
Q: Speaking of how a former champ might fare a, what about Angel Cabrera?
A: No, when scoundrel Tiger charges out to a lead, they’ll be no chance he’ll be touched by an Angel.
Q: Who is most likely to drop a few balls in the drink, and please don’t answer “Of course, Stewart Cink.”
A: Mike Weir, for a pair. Freddie Couples, a couple. Justin Rose, we suppose, but really, who knows?
Q: I want Augusta National’s recipe for Pimento cheese, can you give it to me, please?
A: We wish we could, as we so love pimento but their recipe… a guarded secret so you won’t get it, even as a memento.
Q: How many golfers will be posing emotionlessly on the grass like Jason Dufner sitting on his…?
A: At least 14, including Steven Fox, Alan Dunbar, Nathan Smith, the entire amateur class.
Q: I know you’re not the best source but what are the two toughest holes on the course?
A: The long par 4s, holes 10 and 11, known as Amen Corner because you’ll be praying on these holes for some help from heaven.