Your First Shower is Free, After That It’s $12.50 | HumorOutcasts

Your First Shower is Free, After That It’s $12.50

September 11, 2013

airline industry, hotel industry, customer service, travel, consumer complaints

John Hartnett

Not much to tell about me, really. When I was born, my parents placed me in a small wooden boat and pushed me out into the center of the Pulaski Skyway where I was rescued and ultimately raised by a pair of opposums. Sadly, they died when I was very young. At least I think they died. From there I joined the Merchant Marines and was the only toddler in World War II to sink a Japanese battleship while being burped. When I returned to the states, I got a job at Gimbels Department Store and have been there ever since even though they went out of business in 1986. I have always valued loyalty over money and if that's wrong, talk to my wife. You'd get along famously. I am the author of the humor collection, "The Barber's Conundrum and Other Stories" and write a comedy blog called The Monkey Bellhop. I live in NJ. I know. I wish you could all live here, too.

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5 Responses to Your First Shower is Free, After That It’s $12.50

  1. September 12, 2013 at 7:29 am

    Our flight to Ireland was so jammed, we stood by the toilet door for half the trip. Surprised they didn’t charge us for obstructing toilets.

    • September 12, 2013 at 9:30 am

      The day will come, Mary, when there will be a loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will come down and there will be a little sign on them that reads, “Deposit $6.50 for the first 90 seconds”. Thanks for the comment! Best, John

  2. September 11, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Don’t laugh. I stayed in that hotel in Hebron, Connecticut! LOL

  3. September 11, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    Thomas, pretty soon you’ll have to pay more if you don’t want to taxi the whole way to your destination.

  4. September 11, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Ha. My recent flight to CT wanted to charge for snacks, truly a new low.

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