A Nun, a kitten and a penguin are out to get me.

So this is not going to be easy to explain but I’ll give it a shot. The day started like any other day. We came home and found Puddles in the rocking chair, knitting a jumper. Earlier that morning, I took my mocking self to the kitten and hypnotized her. You might ask why I hypnotized the kitten and it’s a good question to ask. You see, Jill Y insists Puddles is the reincarnation of her Grandmother. I said “Don’t be ridiculous, with claws like, that she’s more likely to be your mother” to which she replied by slapping me in the face with a wet penguin, thinking that a fish would be a bit of an understatement. Next thing I know, two zoo officials knocked on the door enquiring about a missing penguin. Suddenly it occurred to me that to have a penguin on hand to slap me in the face with, Jill Y would have needed prior knowledge of the day’s events. As I pondered this from my prison cell, where I was serving hard time for penguin thievery, I pleaded my innocence and told them that I thought it was a Nun and not a penguin. It gradually dawned on me that the true mastermind of this plan was Puddles. That kitten never liked me. The moral of the story:

The next time you get a kitten, don’t train it to use your time machine.